The Antithesis

My sister mentioned Coolio's new show. Apparently he is looking for his new love interest. The convo went a lil like this:

Sis: I feel a little sad for Coolio
Me: LOL! Coolio is the antithesis of my very being
Sis: I just feel bad for him. He had money and all those opportunities and such. How do you fall off like that?
Me: Easy! See exhibit 1: MC Hammer

Now mind you, we recently had a lengthy convo about my uber-high standards in men. I think they are way reasonable but my sister thinks that I have such stringent dating requirements that there would only be about 13.75 men within a 50 mile radius that would met them. Of course, I wholeheartedly disagree... I just like what I like.

Now, back to Coolio, I don't care of I lost both legs, gained 100 pounds and stayed with a multiude of cold sores on both my top and bottom lips, I would'nt date him. I mean not even if all the batteries in America were quarantined and all other men perished but him. Naw man, hell naw! HE WEARS TINY PLAITS THAT STICK UP OFF HIS HEAD! And furthermore, he cuts holes out of age-inappropritae hats to allow said hair to stick out. Plus he looks like he is in the beginning stages of a mean crack recovery/treatment program.

I say all of this to say, "Can't we find a happy medium people?" he doesn't have to the Barack to my Michelle but he damn sho can't be the Jody to my Yvette either.